How to Win at Bedtime
Toddlers, listen to me. Winning at bedtime has nothing to do with crying, making excuses, fake coughing, or pretending to be hungry for the repulsive dinner you rejected earlier. That’s baby stuff. And...
View ArticleThe Truth About Car Sleep
I may lose friends for posting this as toddlers like to keep the truth about our societal norms within our age demographic, but I feel as if parents need to understand car sleep to better serve us....
View ArticleI’m Sorry
Look mom. I can tell from the way you haven’t looked me in the eye since fetching me from my crib well before dawn that you’re upset about last night. Waking up every 45 minutes to 1.5 hours isn’t easy...
View ArticleLove
To: Mommy From: Sweet Baby AKA Angel Face AKA a helpless child Subject: Last night… Hi. I just have a quick question- I know we have a busy day ahead of me watching you do things- but what does love...
View ArticleThe Pause
It’s 2Am. You’ve only been asleep for an hour as Pinterest, meaningless Facebook exchanges and reruns of The Big Bang Theory have seduced you since I fell asleep. Suddenly you’re jolted awake as you...
View Article7 Stages of Night Grief
Last night I was a hot mess. I’m not going to mince words and try to explain it away with growing pains, teething, or general anxiety over Big Bird’s 20+ year denial that he/she is sitting on...
View ArticleBig Bed
I want to have a rational discussion about the big bed. I am a reasonable human being and don’t like to see anybody get their feelings hurt. Daddy, this post is specifically for you as I can tell you...
View ArticleThe Nap Window
This post is for TO (Toddlers Only). If you have unsavory and disturbing hair on your body that you weren’t born with or don’t get so excited about chewy granola bars that you instinctively start...
View ArticleMorning Translator
This post is for Toddlers Only (TO). If you would ever waste strawberries in a salad and cite “summer” as an excuse, please find something else to do close by. Mornings can be a confusing time for...
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